Adulting Fears as a Single Woman: Home Inspection

My fitness goals and regime have taken a back seat the past two weeks. I’ve been emotional and mentally stressed over this house situation as this process has literally been a roller coaster for me. It’s consisted of mostly ups, but the occasional downs are self-created due to doubt and fear.

This week I had my inspection for the house which was an overwhelming hour and a half.  The Inspector, Realtor and I went over an 8-page list and at first, I glanced it over thinking, “this isn’t so bad…”  As he went through each item all I could see were dollar signs that would eventually come out of my pocket.  Then  I started to realize some of this stuff I could do, but wait…could I? I’m not handy. I can’t even cook. I’ve burned hardboiled eggs for crying out loud! I don’t even know what part he is talking about, where to get it, what to ask for, how to install it… I don’t have a man in the house to take care of these handy chores…I going to go broke as fuck hiring people to install one tiny tube because I’m helpless…what have I done?! …FUCK, I’M SCREWED!

After the panic,  sadness set in then fear, then doubt, then fear, then sadness, and then panic all over again.  Eventually, I came down from all that and reassured myself that I could do this.   Everything that I don’t know, I can learn.  I can make all of these terrifying decisions by myself and if it doesn’t go right then I will learn from them.  I don’t need to fear making mistakes because how else will I learn?

I often envy those that have the opportunity to make these big decisions with someone by their side. It must be easier to panic with someone and know that you are in this together. If you screw up, someone is there to feel the pains with you and help you stand up. Yea, that sounds nice.

However, I don’t have that opportunity, but I do know that unlike other people, I know what it is like to be alone.  And I’ll know what it is like to truly be independent. When I find my partner, I will be able to be with them out of true companionship, not dependency.  No matter what happens in my relationships, I can stand alone because I’ve done it for so long.  Don’t get me wrong, knowing all of this does not take away the fear or the panic.  That will always be there because there is nothing scarier than going through life alone, but I’ll always be ok.

Panicking, but ok.

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Adulting So Hard: Home Shopping

As you may remember, I made the decision to adult and buy a home.  House hunting has been such an emotional process; the highs finding “the” home followed by the lows after not getting it.  To make things worse for me, I began my process with a Bitch of a .  Forgive my language, but there is no better way of saying it.   I’m not about to smear her name all over my internet, but if you’re live in the Phoenix area and looking for a Realtor, I’d be happy to let you know who you should avoid.

Why was she so terrible? Because her “expertise” in working with first time home buyers is all about taking advantage of them. She is the reason why Realtors have a shady name.  Both times that I tried to put an offer in on a house, I felt like I was negotiating my offer with HER, not the seller! All she did was hard sell me into putting asking price as my initial offer.  Who does that?!  Now true, we are in a seller’s market and I had accepted that no matter what I buy, I will be paying top dollar, BUT I had my budget. And guess who never asked about my budget? MY REALTOR!  I’m sure there were moments where she really was trying to teach me about the process, but when I say, “I want to put an offer in on this house” and her response is an immediate justification as to why SHE is going to write the offer for asking price without asking ME what I wanted….it’s kind of hard to listen.   Anyway, I made the decision to cut my ties and worked with a Realtor that my sister recommended and boy, the experience was night and day!

First of all, she asked to meet with me immediately and didn’t just settle for a phone call which I really liked.  She explained everything to me.  In fact, she told me so much stuff that I had never heard from my other realtor. When I found a home that I wanted, she provided so much detailed information on the comps and the HOA. Before, I naively trusted the word of the previous realtor on the comps and information which was my fault, but being a new home shopper, you don’t realize what you don’t know until you know it.  I didn’t ask the questions I asked my current realtor to my old one because these things never came up for me to question.  Partially was the shadiness of the realtor and part of it was me, but I tried to do as much research on my own as I could but it just wasn’t enough.  Thankfully my gut told me when something was off even if I couldn’t directly pinpoint it.
This new Realtor was amazing and when it came time to putting in an offer knowing I was up against 3 other potential buyers, the only thing she did was provide me with all the information I needed to make MY decision and said, “put in what you think the house is worth”.  She never pressured me, she never tried to sell me on my raising my budget, we discussed the reality of losing the house and the decision I may need to make to walk away, and most importantly, she respected that my top priority was keeping my mortgage within a certain number.

When I heard that I was countering against 3 other buyers, I really did not think I was going to get this house and she could tell I felt discouraged.  But low and behold, around 4 pm this past Thursday she gave me the call that quickly transitioned me into a real grown up!

Realtor: “They decided to accept your offer…”

Me: “….seriously?…”

Realtor: “Yes!”

Me: “Ohh….wow….I wasn‘t expecting that.”

I was in shocked and it honestly took exactly 24 hours for me to feel the real excitement of buying this house! It’s only been two days since I heard the news and I’m exhausted.  So many calls, emails, faxes, and appointments have been made. I honestly can’t believe how quick this is all happening but I’m so excited it is.

I’m adulting.  I’m adulting so hard right now!

(I may or may not have been spending a lot of time on Pinterest…Oh, I’m going to be so busy!)

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Not the same Beauty In The Buff

Last time you heard from me and I had an exciting New Years Vlog with all the plans (resolutions) I made. And in true resolution form, those plans didn’t last a week BUT with good reason!

A week after I made my 2017 plans, I hit a wall. It wasn’t a bad wall, in fact, I knew it was good, but I couldn’t figure out what was happening.  It was like I could literally feel myself in the middle of transition but I didn’t know where my life was going.  Everything that once motivated me was no longer important, especially with the blog/vlog.  Since I’ve lived in Arizona, I’ve spent my life trying to find things to make me feel important because I didn’t feel at home. I needed a positive distraction to find my purpose while I let life run its course. Out of nowhere, I finally felt like I was exactly where I should be and I made the decision to make an effort in creating my home here, establishing genuine relationships and enjoying myself more!

This didn’t mean I gave up on fitness, competing or “Beauty In The Buff”, but I did need to take a break from my goal focused mentality and live in the moment which is exactly what I’ve been doing.  I will be back on the blog and Youtube, but I am going back to how it all started; documenting life-discovery through fitness.

I started “Beauty In The Buff “when I made my decision to compete for the first time. Through that experience, I found a whole new life and documented the whole discovery process.  I  lost sight of what I enjoyed about blogging and try to change my direction, but that direction isn’t me. I am still discovering life and Fitness continue to be a huge component in creating the woman I am today.   I know I will lose some followers as this blog will quickly transition into more of a personal blog than anything, but that’s ok.

So here is a quick recap of what has been going on and what you’ll be seeing more of in the near future:

  • I’ve decided to commit to Arizona and purchase a home (on the house hunting quest as we speak)!
  • Because of my decision to buy a home, my summer show will be postponed.  I need to buy my house to be able to figure out my competition budget. Also, the June show I wanted to do is not happening anymore.
  • Since I’m not focussed on a particular show, I’ve incorporated powerlifting and swimming in my fitness routine for some variety. I am working on cutting for the summer since bikini seasons is sneaking up on us.
  • I’ve been going out more, meeting new friends, not quite dating but my interest in putting myself out there again is beginning to peak.

Thanks for following, Squirrelfriends.  I hope to be able to entertain you while I work on this thing called “Life”.

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The Whisper Challenge

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope everyone is enjoying their Holiday with their loved ones.  I know I sure am!  Check out The Whisper Challenge my family and I did on our Christmas getaway to Sedona, Arizona. 
What’s The Whisper Challenge?  It’s where one person wears headphones, listening to really loud music while trying to interpret what the other person is saying.  It’s ridiculous good fun. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Merry Christmas Squirrelfriends!

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My Diet Breakthrough!

Guys, I’ve had the most remarkable breakthrough with my body regarding my caloric intake!  I didn’t realize that part of my post show challenge was that I had a bit of a lingering fear of food and carbs in particular. This isn’t a new occurrence but I had really thought this was something I got past.  In many ways, I made huge strides, but I always believed that my body could not handle a high carb diet and kept it at a moderate level (around 175-200g).

When I made the decision to get off “dieting” (aka tracking every meal I ate), it was scary. I knew I would be fine in the end but I didn’t trust myself and the ability to make good food choices without gaining the weight.  I was scared of my decision-making, food, and my body.  However, in the first week, I kept reminding myself that this was for the best. As much as I didn’t want to gain weight, I knew that this was a possibility and I was prepared for it. I surprisingly didn’t gain weight and didn’t stress about food as much.  After a couple of weeks, I grew more confident in my decisions and my body and decided that it was time to eat more! I wanted more muscles which meant I needed to eat more food and I was prepared to put on the fat if it got me to my “gain” goal.

During the next 4 weeks, I slowly increased my carbs in every meal to the point where I would go to bed feeling full and yet my weight wasn’t changing.  I was eating whatever I wanted, ate protein in every meal, increased my carbs yet nothing was happening. I knew if I wanted to gain weight that I would need to eat above my maintenance calories so I decided to start tracking my food to get an idea of how much I was eating.

To my surprised, I was averaging 140-150g of protein, 50-60g fat and 250-275g of carbs with NO WEIGHT GAIN!  I was so excited to see that my body was maintaining my weight with those macros, especially with my carbs. I really believed that I couldn’t handle high carbs and I was wrong…oh, but it get’s better! Since then, I’ve continued to increase my fat to 70g and carbs to 330g and I’m eating roughly 2500 calories and still not gaining a pound.  In fact, I gagged on a shit ton of carbs before bed last night and woke up a pound lighter.  I’m floored!! And yes, I literally gagged because I’m now dealing with the struggle of getting in all this food so that I can put on the muscle.

This is such an exciting breakthrough for me and it makes me so happy to see what my body is really capable of! I didn’t give my instincts or my body enough credit and now that I’m finally giving it what it deserves, it’s paying me back in return.  Guys, intuition and risk-taking are a beautiful thing!  Our metabolisms are freaking amazing, but you have to get off the diet to reap the benefits. Trust me, It’s terrifying but worth it. Take a break from the diet and listen to yourself…you won’t regret it!

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Blueberry-Banana Baked Oatmeal

I found this recipe years ago in one of my fitness magazines and it has to be one of my all time favorite ways to prep oatmeal for the week. If you need a new way to meal prep your breakfast, then try out this Blueberry-Banana Baked Oatmeal!



blueberry-banana baked oatmeal

2 cups of rolled oats
1/2 cup of chopped walnuts
1/3 cup of sugar or honey (I used honey)
1 tsp of baking powder
2 cups of light soy milk
1 1/2 tsp of ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp of salt (optional)
2 medium fortified eggs
1/4 cup of trans fat-free margarine, melted and slightly cooled
2 tsp of vanilla extract
2 ripe bananas cut into 1/2 inch pieces
2 cups of fresh or frozen and thawed, blueberries


  • Preheat the oven to 375 and grease inside of an 8-inch baking dish.
  • Medium bowl – oats, sugar (if using honey, see paragraph below), half the walnuts, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Reserve.
  • In another medium bowl – combine honey, milk, eggs, margarine and vanilla extract. Set aside.
  • Arrange the bananas in layers on the bottom of the baking dish. Place 1 1/2 cups of blueberries on top. Cover the fruit with the oat mixture.
  • Slowly pour the milk/egg mixture over the fruit and oats, making sure it covers them completely. Sprinkle the remaining berries and walnuts on top. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until golden brown and mixture has set. Remove from oven and let cool for 5-10 minutes before cutting. Store in refrigerator.

Per serving (makes 6)

Calories: 356 Calories / 10g Protein / 4g Carbs / 16g Fat


Try it out and let me know what you think.   Enjoy!

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