Life, Friends & Fitness

Oh man, guys! May has been one hell of a month for me.  I normally live a very tame, predictable life but May…oh no. The Universe wanted to make sure that I started my new year in my thirties with a bang. Let’s recap real quick –

1st week of May – Moved into my very own house!

 2nd week of May – My 31st Birthday and trip to NY to visit my family. 

3rd week of May –  Celebrating my birthday with my Arizona Friends

And now I am finishing of this month with some of my friends who have hit some milestones in their life. 

I’ve enjoyed this month but damn, I am ready for a break!

I didn’t recap my Whole 30 experience on the blog but to watch how it went, check out my recent YouTube video. I finished the Whole 30 right before my trip to NY which ended up being perfect. Unfortunately, I did not slowly introduce myself to food.  At first, everything felt ok but as this month progressed, I’ve begun to notice the side effects of my lazy, processed eating.

Acne, lack of energy, more anxiety, waking up
exhausted, bloating, weight gain…

Le Sigh.

I want to beat myself up now because I’ve made many great changes, but Rome wasn’t built-in the day and neither were nutritional habits. I’ve not only gotten completely side track with my post W hole 30 plan, but I’m going on two months of not getting my butt in the gym. But it’s ok, I’m getting myself back on track and working on my plans and goals as we speak.

I’m in a really great place in my life and I’m trying to balance all my social and personal changes with my fitness goals.  This is a new task for me but I am excited to share it all with you!

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My Version of Healthy Eating

Healthy eating can be define differently by many people but for me, it goes beyond what you put in your mouth or the labels on the packaging.  It’s about “why” you are eating what you are eating and it begins with a healthy mindset.  For as long as I could remember, my relationship with food was horrendous. As I got older, it became more destructive and I never thought I would be able to get out of it.

Through therapy and my first prep, I began to learn the reasons behind my disordered eating and learned to identified emotions that were attached to my impulsive, self-abusive episodes. I rebounded terribly after my first show and even though I added 30 pounds really quickly, I noticed something shifted inside of me. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror but I didn’t hate me.  It took some time to level out my post-show binges but when I did, I made the decision to spend the next 3 years eating what I wanted with no fear.

I accepted my body but this was easier said than done.  I always had aesthetic goals of losing fat, but my failed attempts to limiting my food intake was a clear sign that I wasn’t ready to categorize my food again.  Slowly but surely, my weight became just a number, I enjoyed my workouts and embraced my athletic physique.

I stopped categorizing food.   We live in world where if you don’t follow the categories of food then you are doing something wrong. Well, I said “F*ck that!”.  Obviously, I knew that certain foods were more nutritious than others. I knew sugar wasn’t great, too much caffeine can negatively impact you, processed foods can be damaging…etc. but I didn’t care.  My fitness friends would often make comments like, “We have to earn that meal!” or “We shouldn’t be eating this.” I would respond with, “Who’s we? I eat whatever I want.  I have no fears…” I’m sure they didn’t get it, but I didn’t care.  Saying out loud that I eat whatever I want wasn’t for them, it was reinforcement for me.

I stopped “earning” meals”. This was probably one of my biggest pet peeves with society.  The idea of earning meals.  What the hell is that?! I don’t need to earn my meal! I’m human; I need food to survive, I enjoy food for pleasure and the only thing I should be earning is the money to afford to put that food in my mouth. I cringe anytime I hear or see people saying that they earned a meal as I feel that it puts this negative meaning behind delicious food.  “I must torture myself in the gym so I can feel less guilty about eating something I enjoy and don’t want to live without!” No, that won’t be me.

Don’t get me wrong; if you have aesthetic goals then you need to eat accordingly.  If you want to gain muscle and keep your fat increase at a minimum then you need to strategically eat above your maintenance.  If you want to lose fat, then you need to restrict your intake.  There will be foods that you should or shouldn’t eat based on your goal and foods that are more healthier than others, but these decisions should be based on the purpose of your goal not the purpose of your happiness.  I needed to spend the 3 years not being afraid of carbs, not regretting indulging, appreciating what my body looks like and is capable of doing, but most importantly, enjoying life and not letting food dictate me. It hasn’t been an easy road and I still have my struggles, but I also have a lot of self-awareness to recognize when I need to take step back and focus on my mental health.

We all have our food issues, but my hope is that my stories can help someone else work through theirs and stop fearing food because it’s pretty freaking amazing. Oh and get this, when you start taking care of your mind/body, your mind/body will start taking care of you!

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Whole 30: Week 2 (What I’m Learning)

Let’s just say I’m doing like a Whole 20-something because I cheated again. Yes, yes, I know, but honestly, I don’t care.  True, I’m not getting the full effects of the program but I’m learning a lot which is what I wanted.  This isn’t about weight loss for me like it is for some.  This is about changing my dietary habits for the long run and paying attention to my body and how it really responds to food.

So what have I learned?

Well, I cheated Sunday night and it took me TWO full days to recover from this cheat of processed, high sugar, high carbs, high shit-filled meal.  Yes, two freakin’ full days! I  was exhausted, run down, couldn’t sleep well and was cranky AF.   In some ways, I was disappointed because after 3 days of amazing energy I was literally back to the way I felt and the way I’ve always felt not realizing I could feel better.  On the flip side, it made me realized that my body really does not handle this type of processed crap.

  • highly processed crap that is loaded with sugar/carbs/shitstorm of chemicals = totes no Bueno.  
  • A meal with simple carbohydrates like bread or pasta, I could handle but in moderation. Like for real…moderation. 

It gave me a new appreciation of my body and how smart it is; it really does what it wants depending on how you take care of it.  If I really, truly, invest in smarter choices than my body will pay me back in return with happy, sustainable energy.  The rest of the week I worked to get myself back on track and my urges to eat processed foods have slowly diminished because it’s not worth it. I’m loving how I feel when I’m not eating crap and I’m mad it has taken me so long to really experience and take note of the difference, but it all begins with mindset. I wasn’t ready until now!

Check out this week’s vlog: Adulting So Hard! #homeowner

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