Since the recent events of the Orlando Shooting I’ve been experience dreams and thoughts of events related to loss or the fear of losing. I’ve had thoughts of losing my family members, my animals, my friends, my life and my safety and it’s all been tragic visuals. Maybe it is because I am older and wiser, but these tragic events never really got to me like they do now. They used to seem like distant stories that they create in a Hollywood Movie for entertainment.
It wasn’t until the Monday after the Orlando shooting where I was listening to the radio and they played the audio of shooting that was taking place inside the club and I realized this wasn’t a movie. This was real. This really happened and the terror these people experienced before they died sent chills up my spine. Later that day, I found out through Facebook that a best friend I had in High School had been affected by this tragedy…her cousin was a victim. I never met him but I knew of him through stories her family use to share when I would visit their house. Seeing that post on Facebook made me realized that it doesn’t matter if this happened in city across the country because it could happen anywhere and to any of us.
This may have been an attack on the gay community but it could have been in a race community or religion community or even a gender community. This could be in a grocery store, at a park, in church, at a club or just walking down the street minding their business and someone psycho starts shooting up the block as people walk by. It doesn’t matter what was the target community or where it happened, because at the end of the day we are all humans living in America and I don’t feel safe in my own home any more. This recent tragedy may have been across the country and may not have hurt anyone that I personally know, but it is much closer to me (and all of us) then it appears on paper.
I’m not sure what to make of these thoughts or what the solution is to safety of our country and I don’t know how I can help be apart of the change, but I have hopes that I will figure it out. In the mean time, life is too short to be sad, mad or even scared. And while I am human with a roller coaster of emotions, I don’t want my last moment on earth feeling any of those feelings.