It’s 9:30pm as I write this post and I am finishing up my 3rd day wondering what the hell am I doing. I’ve had headaches all week long, I’m always hungry (even though I don’t stop eating), I’m tired, and all I can think about are the sugary treats that I am no longer having. I don’t need to do this shit, do I? Why can’t I just slowly eliminate foods from my diet? Ya know, clean up in tiiiimeee.
Well for one, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I’m either all in or I’m all out and I’ve made this decision to work on my food quality versus so there is no turning back! But truly, this 30-day program is a big detox. Not just in my bad habits nutritionally, but mentally and spiritually. I found myself falling down my depressing mental rabbit hole that leads me nowhere good and I was struggling to get it out.
Yes, my initial intentions on starting the Whole 30 were to clean up my diet and begin to focus on the quality of my food choices for a long-term health. However, in doing so it’s providing me the opportunity to evaluate my social circle, the stressors in my life (self-created or environmentally created) and figuring out how to move forward as a better version of me. Truthfully, challenges like this always re-energize me which is why I loved prepping for the last show. Having such a self-focused goal, allowed me the opportunity to really figure out where I was going in life and how to get there. The Whole 30 is now proving itself to be another mini transitional prep.
It’s only day 3 and I want to quit, seriously. My sugar cravings are intense and I just keep thinking about the “one little cheat” I could slip in (if nobody knows I ate it then it didn’t really happen, right?). This kind of nutritional challenge is different for me as the ones in the past have been all about aesthetics but this is by far harder than any prep I’ve done!
But I won’t quit. I can already tell I have too much to lose even though it’s been a few days. My body feels like shit but my mind begins to clear up slowly each day. It’s an amazing, difficult and shitty experience but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.