My Next Goal

Hello My Lovelies and Welcome Back!

So the last post I promised you that I would give you more insight of my next fitness goal; a photo shoot!

I’m really excited about this.  I’ve always wanted to do a photo shoot for myself, not because I am prepping, but just because.  I get to dictate how I want to look, I don’t need to be compared against any other woman and I don’t need to worry about a certain number or look.  What I like is what I shoot. It will be a fitness shoot so I do have a “physique” in mind, but this is all for me and only me.  Not for a trophy, just for me.

IG @ Beautyinthebuff

The photo shoot is set to happen in LA during the second week of February so I still have some time and have been prepping for about two months.  I am not tracking my food as far as macros go, but I am measuring so I know where I am starting from and how to decrease from there.  This is my first time not be strict and more “intuitive” with my dieting and it is working out pretty well.  I’m not stressed and I feel “normal”.  As far as my training goes, I just signed up for the Bret Contreras’ Personalized Programming and I’m loving it so far.

If you don’t know who Bret Contreras is, he is known as the “Glute Guy” and is intelligent as all hell when it comes to the body (you should seriously read his stuff!!).   His program for me isn’t anything ground breaking or nothing I couldn’t program, but being the normal human I am, I get stuck in my comfort zone and need that extra push by someone I respect to get me out of it.  The workload as far as reps and sets are less than I am use to but it is forcing me to push myself harder than I have in order to make it “hard”. I love what it is doing to my body (I’m sore!) and my mind. I’m noticing my strength and my reflection in a positive way. If you have $99 a month to fit into your budget and need help with a program (this does not come with nutrition) and are pretty good at holding yourself accountable, then I highly suggest you give this a try!

I’m looking forward to the changes in my body as this is the first time I am cutting not for a trophy or out of self-hatred, but just because I want to see my gains!  This is a first for me and it’s kind of scary, but all kinds of good.

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Oh Boy, Here We Go Again…

I know, I know. I’ve come and gone before.  The truth is, I’ve “suffered” from trying to be something I am not and fit in with all the other online fitness people. I kept forgetting what got “Beauty In The Buff” started in the first place.  I never did it to be an online Fitness Guru or motivation for anyone. I did it for my thoughts and way to express myself and document my journey (the good and the bad). While my consistency waivers, the one thing that never leaves me is my desire to keep blogging/vlogging. I think about you all the time, boo!
So, I am going back to the beginning, to how it all started and the purpose of blogging/vlogging.  This is for me, baby, but I hope you like it!

First off, a lot of positive things have happened since I bought my house. One of my close friends moved in and we are both on the same page when it comes to fitness and our goals.  I mean, we are practically swolemates which has been really nice. We prep together, we gym together, we tan together,

Halloween 2017 as the Bella Twins

food shop together, party together…etc. It has been fun, to say the least.

Secondly, it still shocks me to say this, but I found Jesus and on October 15, 2017, I made the decision to get baptized.   It has been an interesting, terrifying but positive process.  I would say that the majority of the positive changes have occurred since I decided to let Jesus show me how to live this life.  I’ve made my mistakes along the way, naturally, and I feel a little embarrassed to say that since I got baptized I got caught up in partying and put Jesus second. However, I am getting myself back to working with my relationship with Jesus and I am looking forward to going to church this Sunday.  If I am being really honest, since I sidetracked myself with partying, my mental and emotional state has slipped and now I am in a bit of a funk. Boy, I’ve got some work to do!

Halloween 2017

 

As far as my fitness has been going, I’ve been working on a slow cut for about two months and my roommate and I have a photo shoot planned for February.  In an effort to keep this post short, I’ll just dangle that carrot and give you more details on that tomorrow. I just wanted to stop by and say hi, Squirrelfriends.

I’ve missed you!

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Letting Go – Managing Stress

I’ve always struggled to manage my stress, caring less, worrying about things that I had no control over, and frustrated dealing with people who had little common sense.

My dad always said, “You cannot control other people and their reaction, but you can control how you react to people.” And I never argued with that because he is right. Why react to someone and allow them to manipulate your feelings?

Lately, I’ve fallen deep into the trap of letting someone get the best of me. I’ve often had the conversation with myself where I thought, “Kristine, why are you letting this obviously incompetent person bring you down? You are fighting with what? An idiot. And yet your day is ruin and you continuously come into this place dreading to be around them.  This is stupid!”  And yet, did I listen? No. I continued to let them chip away at my soul, target my work ethic and dim my light. I allowed this and I let the stress in and consume me.

Well, no more. The timing of recent events this week has not been lost on me. I always notice signs and don’t believe in “coincidences”.  The Universe (or God) is trying to tell me something and I need to pay attention.

“Kristine, shut up. You are better than this. Something bigger is up ahead and you are in control of your destiny. Let this ruin you or let this grow you. You are better than this, now prove it!”

This is the time to get it together and learn to let go. Exhale the BullShit.  My future depends on it because I will only continue to hurt myself by investing in something or someone who doesn’t deserve the time and energy.  If it doesn’t serve me in a positive way then it should not have my attention and I know this, but it is always easier said than done.  My sleep is affected, my fitness has taken a back seat and I have no motivation to accomplish my personal goals.  The stress is greatly impacting who I am and who I have worked hard to become and I miss that girl. I miss her badly and I know she is not gone, just lost and I can get her back. I just…I just have to let go.

How do you manage your stress and not let people and things negatively affect you?

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Looking for the Fork In the Road

I feel less than inspired lately. I feel stagnant which is funny because I’m not.  I’m closing on my first house this week, work is going really well, and I actually try to have a social life. Life is far beyond stagnant, but I was looking through my facebook memories today and came across this quote I posted last year (I have no idea where I got it from but we can pretend I’m that deep…)

Goals are like magnets that attract us to a higher ground and new horizons. They give our eyes a focus, our mind an aim, and our strength a purpose. Without their pull, we would remain forever stationary, incapable of moving forward…a goal is a possibility that fulfills a dream.

That’s what is missing; a GOAL. Training for my first bodybuilding show was the first goal that I ever accomplished. Since then, I’ve been goal oriented and have dedicated my energy to accomplishing some goal (usually fitness related).I postponed my prep for this season because I decided to purchase a home and use my money elsewhere, which I don’t regret but now I’m antsy.  Establishing my home is fun and I’m excited but this isn’t a goal that drives me because it’s forever and more of a “duh”. There is no rush, no sense of urgency, no due date because it’s life. To some, the Whole 30 could be a goal but it’s not for me as this too is forever.  Yes, it ends in 30 days but not for me. Sure, I’ll be bit more flexible than the initial 30 days but this is about long-term health. Learning how to live a healthy lifestyle and make quality food choices will take time, but this is life.  There is no rush, no sense of urgency and no due date.  Honestly, I really miss prepping and I am just trying to figure out how to get a bit of some of that without that set date, routine, and end goal.

In a conversation I had with a good friend, she encouraged me to just “live” and let things roll as they will. I lived my life with such strict guidelines in accomplishing these goals that maybe it was now time to change my mind frame.  At first, I thought she had a point and I thought maybe this was time to learn how to embrace just living an “average” life. But the truth is, that just isn’t me.  I wasn’t meant to be average. I was meant to do amazing things even if they are just for sport. I was meant to accomplish the impossible even if the only thing I get out of is a sense of pride. I don’t dream of living a Cinderella lifestyle or follow down my parent’s footsteps. And while I am excited for the day that I have a family of my own, that day is far in the future. So now, now I want to live, set goals and crush goals.

I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining because I am not, but I am confused.  I am happy but confused. Lost in the direction to take and looking for the drive to push me forward.  Just like anything, it will come but now I am antsy.

What a girl to do…

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Day 3 of Whole 30 #killmenow

It’s 9:30pm as I write this post and I am finishing up my 3rd day wondering what the hell am I doing. I’ve had headaches all week long, I’m always hungry (even though I don’t stop eating), I’m tired, and all I can think about are the sugary treats that I am no longer having.  I don’t need to do this shit, do I?  Why can’t I just slowly eliminate foods from my diet? Ya know, clean up in tiiiimeee.

Well for one, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I’m either all in or I’m all out and I’ve made this decision to work on my food quality versus so there is no turning back!  But truly, this 30-day program is a big detox.  Not just in my bad habits nutritionally, but mentally and spiritually.  I found myself falling down my depressing mental rabbit hole that leads me nowhere good and I was struggling to get it out.

Yes, my initial intentions on starting the Whole 30 were to clean up my diet and begin to focus on the quality of my food choices for a long-term health. However, in doing so it’s providing me the opportunity to evaluate my social circle, the stressors in my life (self-created or environmentally created) and figuring out how to move forward as a better version of me.   Truthfully, challenges like this always re-energize me which is why I loved prepping for the last show.  Having such a self-focused goal, allowed me the opportunity to really figure out where I was going in life and how to get there. The Whole 30 is now proving itself to be another mini transitional prep.

It’s only day 3 and I want to quit, seriously.  My sugar cravings are intense and I just keep thinking about the “one little cheat” I could slip in (if nobody knows I ate it then it didn’t really happen, right?).  This kind of nutritional challenge is different for me as the ones in the past have been all about aesthetics but this is by far harder than any prep I’ve done!

But I won’t quit. I can already tell I have too much to lose even though it’s been a few days.  My body feels like shit but my mind begins to clear up slowly each day.  It’s an amazing, difficult and shitty experience but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

27 more days!

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