Beauty & The Baby Cop

FullSizeRender (71)I hate dating.   Mainly because it seems like such a project to filter through and find decent human beings.  However, even though it sometimes feels like more work then fun, I always come out with some ridiculous story to share. Which brings me to one of my favorite experiences…

My date with the Baby Cop.

During one of my short stints of online dating I met Baby Cop. For the first time in a long time I found someone that I really enjoyed talking too and I definitely wanted to spend time with him. In a two week time span, we talked almost every day and fit in 3 dates.  At that time in my life, all that time with someone would have been “too much” and freak me out but I was trying to go with the flow since we seemed to hit it off.

So this cop…

He was an inch taller than me, very lean and overall a petite man, was divorce with a child and had a face that only a mother could love.  Ok, he wasn’t hideous but he wasn’t the best looking guy either.  Despite feeling like an Amazon Woman next to him I was still attracted and enjoyed spending time with him. I was unsure about the single dad thing, but I was willing to see how this would go being that it had been so long that I felt any kind of connection with someone.

About this 3rd date…

Since he worked late afternoon/nights and weekends the plan was to go see an early showing of “Ted” and have lunch afterwards. We get in the theater, the movie starts and Baby Cop snuggles up onto my shoulder – like, legitimately snuggled. Bitch curled his feet up in fetal position, rested his hands underneath his head and found his little nook between my shoulder and chin to rest his head.

I wish I was lying.

I’m not a big fan of PDA to begin with.  I can handle an arm around the shoulder, holding hands, kiss on the cheek…etc.  But the mushy shit is not for me so imagine the panic in my eyes when this grown ass Baby Cop decided to make a spectacle in a movie theater by channeling his inner 3 year old.  He may have even sucked his thumb in the process but I was too busy trying to act like this wasn’t happening to confirm that.

“I like this guy.  What is happening right now?  This can’t be real.”  

How does a funny, macho man Cop think it is ok or even welcomed to snuggle up on my shoulder in public?  Then he beings whispering sweet nothings in my ear expecting me to have a full blown conversation with him while the movie was playing.  Annoying and creepy. If you ignore it then it didn’t really happen.

Movie is over and it’s time for lunch.

We go to a rather empty restaurant in the mall and get seated at a 6 person table. There is only two of us and this little baby cop probably weighs less than me. I get in the booth and next thing I know my thigh is being smothered by his thigh. This asshole thought it was cute to sit RIGHT NEXT TO ME IN 6 PERSON BOOTH!

So not only is he disgusting me by invading my space but he has made it impossible for me to enjoy my lunch because I have to now eat out of the side of my mouth in order to look at him. I was trying really hard to look past this needy, psycho, skin-me-and-wear-me-as-fur-shit, but he was testing my patience. I can’t remember the exact conversation we had but he said something that implied I was his girlfriend. Oh. Hell. No.

So let me get this straight – after creating a mortifying public display of affection, Baby Cop now wants to piss on me like a dog and I am suppose to be ok with this?

What happened? Where did I miss the crazy flare signals?

At this point I was over trying to give it a chance. I was annoyed, disgusted and in partial shock over the recent turn of events. We were walking to the car and this cute couple walks past us. This guy was about 6 ft tall and his girlfriend was a little shorter than me.  Being a 5’8″ woman wanting a tall man is always a deep desire, but you learn to get over it when you really like someone.  But when you don’t then all bets are off…

Baby Cop: “Do you wish I was that tall?”

Me: “Yep.”

Baby Cop: “Awww….that’s mean”

Well shit, don’t ask a stupid question….dumb ass.


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Respect Your Goal

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I love this quote by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Yes, I definitely did say his full name.  Well, I didn’t say his middle name because I am not sure if Douglas goes before “The Rock” or after.  I guess that is something I will have to ask after we get married.  Anyway, not only do I just love this bald beauty (swoon) but this quote hits home with me. quote-the-first-step-to-achieving-your-goal-is-to-take-a-moment-to-respect-your-goal-know-dwayne-johnson-77-94-20

We all have big dreams of accomplishing something great with our lives and almost everyone has a big dream that would change their health and fitness.  I am sure we could all name a handful of people who have something they would like to accomplish to make their lifestyle a healthier one. And out of all those people you can think of, including yourself, how many of those actually accomplished them? …Maybe 10%? But why?

You have a goal? Great.

You created a realistic plan? Awesome.

Are you following through with this plan? Cool.

Oh but wait…you stopped? You got “lazy”? You lack motivation?

You aren’t lazy or unmotivated you just skipped a stepped; know your WHY. Why do you want to achieve this goal?  What does it mean to you to accomplish this? How will it make you feel? How will your life change? You need to ask yourself these questions to dig deep into why you are moving forward with such a new big task.  If you don’t understand why you are doing this then you will “get lazy and unmotivated”.  You are only going to limit your sugar intake for a week and stop the afternoon walks because at some point it becomes less fun, more work and nobody wants to work for no reason.

When you know your WHY you are more connected to your goal and those hard days won’t seem so hard.  When I trained for my first bikini show I was a chronic binge eater, purged in many ways and never lifted anything heavier than my handbag.  Getting on that stage wasn’t just about being in the best shape of my life but it did start out that way.  As I continued to struggle through the process, I began to realize that this wasn’t about getting “skinny” any more.  It wasn’t about having a dream body and being confident in a bikini.  It was about proving to myself that I can accomplish this “impossible” task because up until that point I felt like I failed in everything I did. I didn’t want to be a failure anymore and now it was about showing myself that I am capable no matter what anyone said.   Once I understood what it meant to achieve this goal I was unstoppable.  Did I make my mistakes? I sure did.  Every weekend I ate a jar full of fatty mistakes but I didn’t let it stop me.  Aside from being in my best shape my only goal for this show was to place Top 5.  I said it every day to myself going to the gym, at the gym, in the morning when I didn’t want to do cardio, eating my fish when I couldn’t stand the smell any more and even after my anxiety driven binges.  Top 5. Top 5. Top 5. 

So what happened? I placed Top 5, literally.

Don’t mistake my binge remarks as that I am implying that I was healthy through this prep process, but it was part of my journey and I refuse to lie about it.  This prep journey was the beginning of my healing and luckily for me I was able to grow from it instead of going in the opposite direction.

I got to my goal because I respected my goal.  I knew what it meant to me to achieve it and I felt it every damn day. My WHY is what kept me in the gym, waking up early, following my meal plan as best as I could and telling myself I can do this even when I really didn’t believe I can.  Knowing my WHY forced me to make changes in my life that weren’t productive to my goal and these choices felt natural. Knowing my WHY forced me to respect my goal and respect what it was going to take to get there.  Knowing my WHY created this unstoppable woman who achieved the one thing she wanted; Top 5.

Set a goal, create a plan, follow through with that plan, but first, RESPECT what it is means to achieve that goal.  Know Your WHY.

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Changes That Happen When You Become a #FitChick

Fitness ModelsBeing “girly” takes a back seat.

There was a time in your life where make up was a must, cute bras were a thing and you had more heels and handbags to last you a month without repeating.  Then you started lifting and loving it.  So what happens? Your heels have been replaced with sneakers, your purses barely see the sun because your hands are full carrying your gallon of water, six pack bag and gym bag and cute bras don’t belong under your cute muscle tees. Ok they might, but not in the gym.  Becoming a #FitChick has now given you two advantages in life; you’re always ready for an impromptu workout and you’re prepared for the zombie apocalypse.  The girl running in heels and a handbag is definitely going to die, but you won’t because you’ve got on some Nikes and muscles.  Winning!

“Does my ass look big in this?” takes a whole new meaning.

There use to be a time when asking that question and getting a “yes” was straight up depressing.  But now, that “yes” is music to your ears.  I mean, after all the days you spend cringing as you sit on the toilet after leg day you better hope your ass gets bigger!  We aren’t squatting for our health here….. that would just be silly.

You stop worrying about your weight as much.

Before lifting all you could worry about is the scale number getting smaller.  That was all you wanted and all you cared about and it didn’t matter where the loss came from or how you did it; You felt “good” at that lower weight.  Then you start lifting and eating differently to build and shape your body and what happens? Your body fat stays around the athletic mark but your weight goes up. Well shit, now it’s time to brag about it because you got gainz!

Food is no longer your enemy.

And one glorious morning you wake up and realize “Wait, I need to eat more food to lose body fat? I need to eat more food to gain muscle? I can eat more carbs? More fats? I CAN EAT DONUTS AND NOT DIE?!?! WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY TELL ME THIS?”  Well, they have been but you just refused to listen.   That’s ok.   It only took 10 years and 550 cycles of crashing dieting to figure it out, but at least you are on the right path now.


Turning into a #FitChick has so many perks in life; you start to learn what feels good for your body, you enjoy sweets guilt-free and you become so strong you could crack a walnut between your legs. But most importantly the confidence you gain from all the hard work you put into the gym spills over into other areas of your life and nobody can take that away from you because you’re a #FitChick.

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