Adulting Fears as a Single Woman: Home Inspection

My fitness goals and regime have taken a back seat the past two weeks. I’ve been emotional and mentally stressed over this house situation as this process has literally been a roller coaster for me. It’s consisted of mostly ups, but the occasional downs are self-created due to doubt and fear.

This week I had my inspection for the house which was an overwhelming hour and a half.  The Inspector, Realtor and I went over an 8-page list and at first, I glanced it over thinking, “this isn’t so bad…”  As he went through each item all I could see were dollar signs that would eventually come out of my pocket.  Then  I started to realize some of this stuff I could do, but wait…could I? I’m not handy. I can’t even cook. I’ve burned hardboiled eggs for crying out loud! I don’t even know what part he is talking about, where to get it, what to ask for, how to install it… I don’t have a man in the house to take care of these handy chores…I going to go broke as fuck hiring people to install one tiny tube because I’m helpless…what have I done?! …FUCK, I’M SCREWED!

After the panic,  sadness set in then fear, then doubt, then fear, then sadness, and then panic all over again.  Eventually, I came down from all that and reassured myself that I could do this.   Everything that I don’t know, I can learn.  I can make all of these terrifying decisions by myself and if it doesn’t go right then I will learn from them.  I don’t need to fear making mistakes because how else will I learn?

I often envy those that have the opportunity to make these big decisions with someone by their side. It must be easier to panic with someone and know that you are in this together. If you screw up, someone is there to feel the pains with you and help you stand up. Yea, that sounds nice.

However, I don’t have that opportunity, but I do know that unlike other people, I know what it is like to be alone.  And I’ll know what it is like to truly be independent. When I find my partner, I will be able to be with them out of true companionship, not dependency.  No matter what happens in my relationships, I can stand alone because I’ve done it for so long.  Don’t get me wrong, knowing all of this does not take away the fear or the panic.  That will always be there because there is nothing scarier than going through life alone, but I’ll always be ok.

Panicking, but ok.

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Adulting So Hard: Home Shopping

As you may remember, I made the decision to adult and buy a home.  House hunting has been such an emotional process; the highs finding “the” home followed by the lows after not getting it.  To make things worse for me, I began my process with a Bitch of a .  Forgive my language, but there is no better way of saying it.   I’m not about to smear her name all over my internet, but if you’re live in the Phoenix area and looking for a Realtor, I’d be happy to let you know who you should avoid.

Why was she so terrible? Because her “expertise” in working with first time home buyers is all about taking advantage of them. She is the reason why Realtors have a shady name.  Both times that I tried to put an offer in on a house, I felt like I was negotiating my offer with HER, not the seller! All she did was hard sell me into putting asking price as my initial offer.  Who does that?!  Now true, we are in a seller’s market and I had accepted that no matter what I buy, I will be paying top dollar, BUT I had my budget. And guess who never asked about my budget? MY REALTOR!  I’m sure there were moments where she really was trying to teach me about the process, but when I say, “I want to put an offer in on this house” and her response is an immediate justification as to why SHE is going to write the offer for asking price without asking ME what I wanted….it’s kind of hard to listen.   Anyway, I made the decision to cut my ties and worked with a Realtor that my sister recommended and boy, the experience was night and day!

First of all, she asked to meet with me immediately and didn’t just settle for a phone call which I really liked.  She explained everything to me.  In fact, she told me so much stuff that I had never heard from my other realtor. When I found a home that I wanted, she provided so much detailed information on the comps and the HOA. Before, I naively trusted the word of the previous realtor on the comps and information which was my fault, but being a new home shopper, you don’t realize what you don’t know until you know it.  I didn’t ask the questions I asked my current realtor to my old one because these things never came up for me to question.  Partially was the shadiness of the realtor and part of it was me, but I tried to do as much research on my own as I could but it just wasn’t enough.  Thankfully my gut told me when something was off even if I couldn’t directly pinpoint it.
This new Realtor was amazing and when it came time to putting in an offer knowing I was up against 3 other potential buyers, the only thing she did was provide me with all the information I needed to make MY decision and said, “put in what you think the house is worth”.  She never pressured me, she never tried to sell me on my raising my budget, we discussed the reality of losing the house and the decision I may need to make to walk away, and most importantly, she respected that my top priority was keeping my mortgage within a certain number.

When I heard that I was countering against 3 other buyers, I really did not think I was going to get this house and she could tell I felt discouraged.  But low and behold, around 4 pm this past Thursday she gave me the call that quickly transitioned me into a real grown up!

Realtor: “They decided to accept your offer…”

Me: “….seriously?…”

Realtor: “Yes!”

Me: “Ohh….wow….I wasn‘t expecting that.”

I was in shocked and it honestly took exactly 24 hours for me to feel the real excitement of buying this house! It’s only been two days since I heard the news and I’m exhausted.  So many calls, emails, faxes, and appointments have been made. I honestly can’t believe how quick this is all happening but I’m so excited it is.

I’m adulting.  I’m adulting so hard right now!

(I may or may not have been spending a lot of time on Pinterest…Oh, I’m going to be so busy!)

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