As I sit in my bed completely binging on “Prison Break” I begin to think about my prep, the progress and my efforts. Immediately my mind goes to fear that I won’t be ready in time. No matter how many people tell me that I’m “good”, something inside me triggers panic mode and I have to refrain myself from overdoing it. I try not to focus too much of my energy in that fear and instead I think about what can I do this week to help myself progress.
There are two things I’ve been saying I am going to give up in my diet for a while now but couldn’t bear to let go. Are you ready to laugh at me? The two things that I’ve been obsessed with are my sugary ass coffee creamer and gummy vitamins. I know, it sounds ridiculous but here’s the thing; I don’t need my coffee creamer because I don’t need coffee. Coffee doesn’t give me energy in the morning and I don’t like the bitter taste, which is why I drown it in white chocolate creamer. I believe in flexible dieting and I believe it is something you can do on show prep, but if I don’t need to consume sugary shit every morning then why do it? My coffee is like a cup of dessert in the morning and I believe my unwillingness to let that go for this prep only speaks to how much I am serious about my prep commitment.
Gummy vitamins, oh….the gummy vitamins….those bad boys are amazing!! Once again, I don’t need these gummy vitamins since I have real adult vitamins so I eat these little babies as another form of a treat. The thing with these gummy vitamins is that they are sugar and have carbs. It may not be much, but with the way I like consume them I am not surprised that I’m not peeing a neon yellow every morning.
As silly as it may sound to the non-prepping person who is trying to limit their diet soda intake, this has been my way to “get around” my commitment for some sweet tooth satisfaction. Committing to a show isn’t a lifestyle committment. This isn’t a quick fix to lose weight and it doesn’t necessarily promote lifestyle change (at least not all of them). When I committed to this show I committed to the challenge and everything it was going to take to get to my goal.
So…I’m 7 weeks out. That means 7 more weeks of more of my effort and 7 less weeks of coffee and gummy vitamins. When I’m done with show prep I will sure as hell enjoy a hot cup of dessert coffee with a side of gummies, but for now I can stand to be a grown up and cut the shit out.
By the way, today is day 1 and my withdrawal shakes are minimal. I think I got this!